I want to be a good person, a good friend, but I don’t have time for games. I can’t spend my few free hours on “friends” who only call when they need something or are passive aggressive when we have a misunderstanding. I don’t want to worry about every word that comes out of my mouth or getting judged on my every move. I don’t want to compete with other women, in how we look, or parent, or by the success of our kids.
And I’m just too tired at the end of each day to pretend I’m something I’m not.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I need friends who believe in the best of me, even when I’m at my worst; friends who cheer me on every step of a new adventure and cry with me when I shoulder pain; friends who show up with a bottle of wine after a bad day and coffee after a sleepless night.
And friends who know I will do the same.
I want to be with women who tell their stories from the trenches, the ones where they talk about struggles in their relationships or their fears for their future. I love the women who openly share their miracle skin care cream and admit their counters are only clean because they shove their stuff in a drawer. I need to be with people who don’t cringe when I tell them I face the struggles with my disease or that I constantly struggle with my hair loss.
I want friendships that fill me up, because no one is ever satisfied after eating fake cheese.
I’m a lucky girl. I have made—and sustained—friendships that satisfy my hunger for the real. We’ve been through the birth of my son and the deaths of some of our loved ones. We’ve held hands at the lowest parts of our lives and shared teary good byes as we hugged each other before leaving for home across the country. We’ve cried tears of joy and loss for animals we love as our own reach milestones and push through another day of life, and shared pizza on evenings when we thought we couldn’t be sane for one more minute—surviving only because we had each other.
Find friends who fill your life up with joy and support you no matter what.
Just don’t waste one second of it though, by eating fake cheese.
I have two amazing sisters who are my best friends. I turn to them each time the waters become unsteady. I seek reassurance and find grace within myself after a long phone call with them. I manage to pull myself out of the thick of the mud when I feel like I can’t keep my head above water. These are my friends. They are my very best friends. And that’s all I need to survive this adventurous life.
We’ve had hard conversations when honesty—no matter how brutal—was the kindest thing we could offer, and held our tongues when we knew someone needed to rant. They have the best listening ears I could ever ask for.
We’ve given words of encouragement when dealing with a difficult partner. We’ve bared our souls in every way and kept secrets safe from the outside world.
No judgment. No expectations. No animosity. No keeping score.
Only love, acceptance and a whole lot of laughter.
Life is short, and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
These women aren’t just my friends, they’re my soul sisters. They provide the most powerful friendship I need. They’re my rock and my soft spot.