Am I Living or Surviving?

April 22, 2022April 22, 2022Leave a comment

I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been sort of on auto pilot. The Rituxan infusions unfortunately did not work. I wasn’t able to finish the series due to reactions at the infusion center. Failing another therapy is a swift reminder that I’m just one more step closer to failure. My body is failing me … Continue reading Am I Living or Surviving?

An Open Letter To My Rituxan Infusion

July 7, 2021February 23, 2022Leave a comment

Often times I choose to say I’m fine. I find it helps with facing the actual truth of dealing with this whirlwind of drifting, surviving, and rising through the trauma of an illness there is no cure for. My immune system is gone. It doesn’t exist anymore. Not even in the slightest way. Monoclonal therapy … Continue reading An Open Letter To My Rituxan Infusion

Something Positive

May 13, 2021February 23, 2022Leave a comment

No one ever told me I wasn’t going to love every minute of motherhood. Motherhood will serve you some of the toughest, most overwhelming, completely frustrating moments you can imagine. But you’ll handle them. Because that’s just what mothers do. Those are the ones we live for. Breathe them in, soak them up, and be … Continue reading Something Positive

I Was Healthy My Whole Life Until I Wasn’t

April 18, 2021Leave a comment

It’s been a spiraling journey downhill since January 2018. My body tells me what my limits are but my brain disagrees. I’m not ready to take life slow or have limitations. My brain doesn’t seem to be in sync with my symptoms. I hate not being able to work out for a full hour without … Continue reading I Was Healthy My Whole Life Until I Wasn’t

Bouncing Back From Something That Is Meant To Destroy You

April 2, 2021February 23, 2022Leave a comment

Can we talk about how exhausting this is? •Lupus •Leukopenia •Hypovolemia •Sjrogens •Plaquenil toxicity •Reynaud’s •Osteopenia •Malabsorption syndrome •Anemia/iron deficiency caused by iron intolerance •Sialoadenitis I am not my diagnosis and my diagnosis does not define me. After everything I have been through and all the courage I seem to find within myself, I’ve been … Continue reading Bouncing Back From Something That Is Meant To Destroy You