Dear Jessi

Dear Jessi,

Tonight you and your diagnosis are on my heart to the point where sleep will be near impossible. Although I know we’re fighting two different kinds of illnesses, finding out about someone else’s crappy health news has a unique way of initiating a PTSD-kind of anxiety as I try to remember what was most helpful to me in the first months after I got my own “News That Changes Everything” nine months ago. It’s pretty typical to bring food, but since I hate to cook lately, at best you’ll get a gift card to Fuzzy’s Tacos, and let’s be honest, I’ll probably forget I purchased it for you and accidentally use it on myself before I get around to mailing it! So I did the only thing I can offer at a time like this while your world kinda just spins apart; I prayed.

I prayed that every time you can’t sleep because you are panicked about how your illness is affecting your sweet kids, you feel good enough to pull yourself out of bed to sneak into their rooms, cuddle next to them, and draw strength from the beastmode level of love you have for them, and in theirs for you. I prayed that even as they nervously watch as their once-fiercely active mom collapses in bed for another nap only an hour after she got up from the the last one, they don’t forget it’s still ok to laugh and have fun with their mom. I prayed they don’t suffer by keeping their fears about what’s happening to you hidden from those who want to help them through this tough time, and they courageously reach out to their family, friends, and teachers. I prayed those who seek give them encouragement know that sometimes a big hug is more valuable than trying to figure out what to say. And I prayed that although your teenagers will be forever changed because of your illness, the experience of having a sick mother might also gently shape their resilient character in a manner that brings you deep pride through the heartache of their lost innocence.

Although I know you’re a tough mom, I am beyond grateful that you’re not alone as you wade through doctor appointments, medications and household chores. I prayed for your medical team to be blessed with supernatural wisdom and your treatment plan to be exceptionally successful. 

You have touched the lives of not only the students and teachers within LEISD, but you’ve touched me as well. You’ve given me perspective and strength. It amazes me the way you have empowered the lives of these students. You are a blessing to this community.

#LittleElmStrong #FamiLE #LoboProud #bcawareness #FightHard

 

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